Rants on May D and other phenomenon


Dear Diary

I was coming home from a prayer meeting in church (p.s. I never knew those could be so refreshing. p.p.s. The small chops afterwards….Lord have mercy!! I might just switch from choir to prayer squad)
P.P.P.S. Doesn’t the name “PRAYER SQUAD just sound like a team of holy ninjas kicking demon butt Corinthian style? Cool, huh?

Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted by my own wandering mind, I was saying I was on my way home late from the meeting and the bus radio (YES. THE BUS!!!)

The bus radio was playing May D’s only hit song “So many tins”. Anyway, the point of this isn’t to pick on May D for his obvious lack of something I am not going to mention but I am guessing you already know Dear Mr (or Ms) Diary.
What I want to ask you dear diary is why. Why has the word ‘things’ turned to ‘tins’ in Nigeria? When did they summon a meeting to discuss this change? Why didn’t I get a memo?

I have so many tins to ask you sef.
1. Why do we like to say things two-two times? Like follow follow, ten ten naira, talk talk and others.
2. How come our famous artists can’t sing? And how come the ones that can actually sing are forced to sing crap just to sell?
3. When did skinny jeans become the fad?
4. Why am I always bored?
5. Why am I just an amazing person? I mean. I just can’t…I can’t even….i mean.
6. If NAMA, NCAA and NiMet finally merge, will I be fired along with most of the people that shall go?
7. Why did God create hunger and fatigue? Why do we have to eat and sleep?
8. Why is this agbero man sitting beside me peering into my phone and looking at me?
9. Oh God. Am I safe?
10. I cover myself with the Blood of Jesus! !! No weapon formed against me shall prosper!!!

Le sigh.


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