Spitting is Gross!!!!

Spitting is Gross!!!!

Dear Diary,
The Lord has laid it on my heart to talk about either of two evils.
1. Spitting in public
2. Mariah Carey.

Which would I talk about?
*scratching chin*

Spitting is definitely the greater evil.
Do people know how deeply gross that is?
N25k says they don’t.
I was walking on my own o. One woman was coming towards me, next thing she snorted up all the thick mucus from the depths of her lungs or wherever that filth is produced and spat in right on the patch of ground I was supposed to step on.
And it was too late for my brain to issue an abort mission on the inevitable stepping down of my right foot.
It was like my life flashed before my eyes soooooooooooo sloooooooowly and yet so quickly. I stepped on the woman’s thick yellowish-green catarrh. Automatically I yelled “Uuuurgh!!!! What the hell is wrong with you??”

Mind you, this lady was old enough to be my mother’s big sister. (Ewwww, if my mother spat like that, I would run away from home)
I threw respect to the wind and yelled at the woman for a good minute. And she said “sorry sir”.
I almost felt bad. As a matter of fact, I felt bad for a millionth of a second. But then my brain decided to work quickly and dispel any iota of remorse. I wished it had worked just as quickly to abort the “step on the lung poop” move my right leg just made. Here I was, a dandy finly-dressed 25 year old yelling at a much older lad…….woman for spitting, not on me, but on the ground I was about to step on.

What is the moral lesson of this poetic recitation?
1. Spitting is GROSS!!!!
2. People who don’t spit don’t die. Your body is a haven of all sorts of filth, bile, enzymes, urine, poop….and you ain’t dead yet from harbouring all of that. So please Do us all a favour and swallow your ngwo-ngwo and do not desecrate our streets with it.
3. You know how to swallow, right?
4. What was I going to say about Mariah Carey again?

I can’t remember. All this talk of spit and I can’t think straight.

(p.s. If you view and like this post, do a brother some good and leave a comment, it don’t take 2 minutes….maybe 5 if your internet is bad, no more.)


13 thoughts on “Spitting is Gross!!!!

  1. ‘Lung-poop’… Classic.. Its totally annoying and disgusting to drop phelgm/saliva at will in public. But unfortunately a great percentage of those who dis are either not literate enough to read this or it has become 2nd nature and can’t be changed easily. I was gonna take u up on Mariah carey cos I adore her, thank God u said no more evil.



Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s