Nkechi’s Revenge

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Dear Diary,

        Remember the two rats that ravaged my house back then; Chinwetalu (who Jerry killed and his mother called Animal) and Okonkwo (who turned out to be a child-bearing Nkechi)?
Well, Nkechi is back with a vengeance. Hell hath indeed no fury like a widowed female rat scorned and with a deathly appetite for household food and vengeance.
See me here keeping my Agege bread carelessly because I thought to myself “Alas, the breadwinner has been killed, Hence the wife shall retreat and shan’t bother me anymore.”

But alas, I was wrong.
Nkechi returned and ate the entire loaf of N100 Agege bread. She ate it all and left crumbs on the chair, under the chair and in the bathroom. How she did that, I shall never know.
She scattered the contents of my dustbin bag and tore it to shreds. And at sundry times, I see her patrolling round the house.

Dear Diary,

           I am scared. I know how dangerous women are when they’ve had enough. I.e. Tanya Harding, i.e. That little girl that poisoned her husband and his friends at their wedding ceremony in the North, i.e. all the scorned women in the world.

p.s. It rained the day before yesterday and flooded my house and after I’d cleaned it up, Nkechi came strutting in to inspect the house.
p.p.s. She left and returned with a friend.
p.p.p.s. Perhaps she’s already done mourning her late husband. The little tramp. She is already being seen with another suitor.
p.p.p.p.s It rained again today and I’m away at work. I hope I don’t go home to meet disaster.

I hope Nkechi doesn’t attack me in my sleep.

If you’re reading my journal and have any thoughts, please let me hear them. Post your thoughts down below. Thanks.

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16 thoughts on “Nkechi’s Revenge

  1. loool! So Nkechi is gansta and quite a diva
    I agree.
    Please life goes on jare. So as her husband died, she should remain an old maid?
    Plix! Plix! Plix! Allow her o!
    Anyways, I suggest you sleep with thick socks on. If she tried to chew through those, you’d wake up before she got too far. LOL
    Beht in this Lagos heat sha! Pele
    And the rain. Sigh
    E no geh respect. Dassall

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  2. My Thoughs- You know that it is not only Nkechi that is smart; they are all smart but guess what, you- we, are smarter. The trick is keep food carelessly around for a couple of days without using any trap or poison. Get to know her favorite meal from the experiment. Then on a random day, keep that meal (her favorite plus mede-mede) in a disposable plate, (Don’t make it look like a ‘Trap’ but like food you forgot to close properly) Then ATTACK quietly! Put all them POISONZZZZZZZZZ of life! Then go & rest.

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  3. Nonso, be afraid! Be very very afraid! Nkechi has come with Chijioke and who knows, other sympathisers may just be on their way. I hope you don’t wake up someday with just one leg!

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