We all have a bagful of embarrassing experiences, times when we do things contrary to our intelligence and then feel stupid about them afterwards. I like to call them ‘blonde moments’.
No offence to any blonde; natural or dyed who may see this.
One night I wanted to light a candle, I picked up the matchbox, took out a matchstick, dropped the matchbox and started to strike the stick against the candle for a full minute. It didn’t make any sense to me why the bloody match wasn’t lighting up. I tried 3 other matchsticks before it dawned on me that…
Well, that moment was deeply embarrassing and I felt stupid.
I talked to a few friends about blonde moments, and of course, they had loads of stories.
1. Jerry my chivalrous and super smart neighbour tried to start a car with his house keys and was arguing vehemently with the owner of the car that his car keyhole is bad. The guy had to travel all the way to where Jerry was before they realised…
The guy just shook his head and left.
Imagine how you would feel if you were Jerry.
2. Lol, errr…so Michael my robust friend of life got occupied with work one day,
and his BlackBerry was just beside his mouse. He started moving his BlackBerry about and got so upset the cursor wasn’t moving, did that for a few minutes before he realised it wasn’t his mouse he was moving.
3. Esther was singing in church one time, she had thought the microphone was on the microphone stand and she was just there singing into empty stick. Didn’t realise until about 10 minutes deep into the worship. She was already gone in the Spirit o. Then she opened her eyes and realised…
4. There’s pretty girl Milicent
who added glittery sand on black shoe polish thinking that when she polished her shoes with it, they would shine and be glittery afterwards.
GOSH so dumb
5. Vivienne’s colleague left her phone at work and went home. Vivienne tried to call her colleague to tell her that she forgot her phone and of course she got really upset when the silly girl wouldn’t pick her darned call. THEN she realised that the phone was right in front of her.
6. Then there’s Ochuko whose moment is as much blonde as it is just plain mischievous. She picked her nose, rolled the snort and put it on a passerby’s shoulder pad.
7. Funmi walked into KFC and asked them if they sell chicken. The look the attendant gave her let her know how stupid she should feel.
8. Allie’s sister came to stay over at Allie’s for a bit. Somehow she ended up having a rash on her face, when asked what she had been using on her face, she pointed meekly at a white plastic bottle on Allie’s counter. It was Femfresh (vaginal wash)
*moment of silence*
THEN THERE IS MY DEAR SISTER EGO.
9. Ego wants to jump over a gutter, she steps all the way back to gather momentum to run and jump over the gutter but jumps before the set time and lands in the middle of the gutter.
9 1/2. Ego wakes up in the middle of the night to pee and somehow in her mind it makes sense to pee inside the dustbin because it looks like the toilet.
I know. Wuht????
Ego tries to jump into a moving bus but the bus speeds off and Ego has already jumped and sadly but inevitably lands flat on her bottom in the middle of the road.
What are your own blonde moments?
If you like (or hate) what you just read let me know your thoughts on it, please and thank you.