Bibo has a pet squirrel or weasel or chipmunk or whatever the heck that furry little creature is.
And it’s a cute piece of adorableness.
I however, have been too traumatised to write for the past 2 days now. And I’ll tell you why.
Nkechi licked me.
Nkechi my (pet) house rat licked me. Last 2 nights.
I was asleep. There was light when I slept. But then sometime in the night I felt a cold wet sensation on my naked back. My sleeping brain tried to comprehend what was going on. And that was quite a task considering that I wasn’t dreaming.
THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME!
I WAS BEING LICKED BY A RAT.
A HUGE RAT!!!!
I jumped out of bed with a stifled scream and I could hear her scurry away. I lit the torch on my phone and I saw another rat, Nkechi’s lover. And then another, Nkechi’s child.
I died for like 5 seconds.
I rushed to the bathroom and scrubbed my body thoroughly. But I couldn’t wash away the filth in my awakened mind.
Nkechi. She licked me. That was incredibly gross and disgusting, but oddly sweet.
Much later when I was back in bed listening to the sounds of the still darkness, I heard her footsteps. She and her lover. They were playing. The nerve!!! I switched on the torch and chased them. The male eluded me but I was successful in trapping Nkechi. Yes. I had her cornered. I could see the terror in her black ball eyes as she breathed heavily knowing the end had come.
I picked up a broom and raised it to finish her off just like Jerry did her husband, Chinwetalu. Her breathing increased. I could smell the fear.
But I just couldn’t kill her.
Then I realised how much I actually liked having her around. She was fun, a modern female who loved life, who loved to play and love and eat and poop and do all things humans do with so much complexity. She had a child to protect and love, and a lover I still don’t like but now tolerate because of her.
Le sigh. What am I even saying?