Gross but interesting rat experience.

Dear Diary,

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               Bibo has a pet squirrel or weasel or chipmunk or whatever the heck that furry little creature is.

And it’s a cute piece of adorableness.

I however, have been too traumatised to write for the past 2 days now. And I’ll tell you why.

Nkechi licked me.

Nkechi my (pet) house rat licked me. Last 2 nights. 

I was asleep. There was light when I slept. But then sometime in the night I felt a cold wet sensation on my naked back. My sleeping brain tried to comprehend what was going on. And that was quite a task considering that I wasn’t dreaming.

THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME!

I WAS BEING LICKED BY A RAT.

A HUGE RAT!!!!

NKECHI!!!!!!!!

I jumped out of bed with a stifled scream and I could hear her scurry away. I lit the torch on my phone and I saw another rat, Nkechi’s lover. And then another, Nkechi’s child.

I died for like 5 seconds.

I rushed to the bathroom and scrubbed my body thoroughly. But I couldn’t wash away the filth in my awakened mind.

Nkechi. She licked me. That was incredibly gross and disgusting, but oddly sweet.

Much later when I was back in bed listening to the sounds of the still darkness, I heard her footsteps. She and her lover. They were playing. The nerve!!! I switched on the torch and chased them. The male eluded me but I was successful in trapping Nkechi. Yes. I had her cornered. I could see the terror in her black ball eyes as she breathed heavily knowing the end had come.

I picked up a broom and raised it to finish her off just like Jerry did her husband, Chinwetalu. Her breathing increased. I could smell the fear.

But I just couldn’t kill her.

Then I realised how much I actually liked having her around. She was fun, a modern female who loved life, who loved to play and love and eat and poop and do all things humans do with so much complexity. She had a child to protect and love, and a lover I still don’t like but now tolerate because of her.

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Le sigh. What am I even saying?

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13 thoughts on “Gross but interesting rat experience.

  1. u didn’t kill it? do u know the amount of disease rats carry, the Bubonic plague for starters which at one time caused the deadliest plague in human history. pls kill the rats or get rat poison, living w rats is a big no no!

    Like

  2. Puking…

    Nonso I am going to pretend as though I didn’t read the first bit about the licking.

    How can you corner a rat and rather than killing it, you begin to think of it in human terms.

    If it had been an hamster, a squirrel, or a chipmunk but a rat! (holding back the second round of puke)

    Like

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