Grievances Part 2

Dear Diary,

These things grieve the hell out of my spirit.

1. People that push the door open when the door sign clearly says PULL.

Umm…can’t you READ?????? The door sign says PULL. Don’t push. And you’d be the first to call me an idiot if I mess up.

2. People who quickly revert to calling guys who pay other guys compliments fags. Such people are the worst set of humans on the earth; idiots.

3. Talkative People who know too much.

     Let me explain. I like talkative people. But there are some who really talk too much, know too much and make sure you agree with them all the time and won’t stop talking till you do. You’d probably be reading or minding your own business and they will snatch your book and talk and talk and talk…to you. By force.

Or you’re trying to get into your house and they stop you at the door and talk for an hour, and talk and talk and talk again…to you. By force. And you’re of course way too polite to tell them “You know what? Shut up!!!”

4. People who think they are the funniest comedians since Kevin Hart and persistently crack ‘jokes’ or tell ‘funny’ stories when in reality, they are drabber than Halle Berry’s acting.

5. Case in point, Arsenio Hall.

Who lied to him and said to him “Arsenio baby, you are the funniest thing since the first fall of a fat lady. You know what, you should have your own show!”

They lied.

Cause each time I watch his show, I literally cannot roll my eyes hard enough.

6. Men who undo their belts to eat. This doesn’t really grieve me per se. I just don’t get it. Has someone died from not undoing his belt to eat before? What special thing does undoing the belt to eat do for the digestive process? Isn’t it the same damn thing when you buckle your belt right after eating the food? Or isn’t it even worse?
I don’t get it. Someone please explain it to me.

7. Rich Kids of Beverly Hills.

If you haven’t already seen the show on E! Then I suggest that you do. Cause that’s all I’m gonna say about this.

8. Rich Kids of Lekki.
There is no such show. But I can’t help but imagine that there is such a show and it grieves me baby, it grieves me. The level of fakery there would be thousands of feet above sea level. And of course, they will all have accents; real or fake. Faux British or American. Of course no one would want to have a French or Indian accent or God forbid, a Yoruba or Igbo accent. GOD FORBID!!!!

9. Yoruba films again.


The God that I serve will not let me have a heart attack because of these movies and the people who make them.

Well. I’m done making myself angry. I’m going to go watch a game of cricket.
Does that grieve you? I like Cricket. Not Soccer.