A RAT!!!

Dear Diary,
 
    On Sunday I trapped a tiny rat that had been bugging my life for days in a bucket by leaving food in the bucket. The rat jumped in and ate the food but couldn’t jump out.
      I left the rat to die, but Monday evening, I’m back from work but the rat isn’t dead. Still trying to jump out. So what do I do?

I flush the rat down the toilet.

Something told me I shouldn’t have done that. I should have killed that rat with dignity, not so dishonourably. What if it went down the drain and emerged as a mutant man-eating rodent aiming for revenge?

Oh my.

Today.
Tuesday. 4:15am. I’m up, I iron for work and then decide to take a leak.

I’m minding my own business peeing. Next thing, Mr Drowned in the toilet Rat speeds out from that hole in the ground where water is supposed to disappear into when you take a bath.

I freak out. 

pee on myself a bit.

The rat is gone.
Waited for me to show up and then decided to show itself.

It is alive and plotting its revenge.

MEANWHILE

image

What in God’s name does Kcee think he’s doing in this?

Comments kept rolling in when I put this up as my BlackBerry Messenger display picture.
“He’s a bloody fag!!”
“Who be dis confused goat?”
“No be Kcee be dis? With all him money he no fit hire stylist”

First, what kind of people do I have as contacts? Dear Lord.

Secondly. This isn’t confused or gay. It is intentional. Its intention is deeply rooted in the fact that this here man, is VERY IGBO. The opposite of Emmy Collins extreme kind of Igbo. The type that has so much money but no taste (whereas Emmy has no money…and very weird (pink) taste). So in his mind, he is very fashionable right now in this pink getup. So he is very stylish…NOT.

Please someone get him a stylist.

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