LAGOSIAN DEVELOPMENT PLAN: NO MORE NEW CHURCHES!!

Dear Diary,

           Lagos is a fast growing world  metropolis and it NEEDS certain improvements or changes to enable it cope with the rapid growth and not-so-corresponding development.
I shall be posting my views and opinions one by one, daily.

1. No more new churches.
Take note Redeemed Christian Church of God. I’m tired of seeing 6 of you in one street, and behind my house, with nothing tangible to show for your presence therein. I would have thought that the church is a congregation of light-bearers and salts-of-the-earth. Alas, in spite of the pervading presence of numerous churches in Lagos, crime abounds, healthcare still is above the reach of the needy, instead of education to be made available for the not-so-wealthy, the church creates schools with insane costs of tuition and not-as-high corresponding standards of education.

The only sign of the presence of the numerous church gatherings on our streets is the noise. The incessant ‘holy’ noise.

There is the Mountain of Fire gathering that screams death by fire every other morning on my street. They won’t pray for peace in our nation, they won’t  take out of the offerings and tithes they raise to fix the deplorable little road of our street, they won’t have a cook-out to feed hungry children, they won’t visit the hospital nearby with food and provision. No. They will only pray with fire from their tiny concave. Or is it conclave? There are more than 5 churches in my tiny street and there is no development therein.

I’m not blaming the church for the state of the areas in which it finds itself or accruing the entire responsibility of providing much needed infrastructure the Government has failed oh so graciously in providing for its citizens on the church, but then again, isn’t it only fitting that the church steps up to do what the society has failed to do in only so pragmatic ways, healthcare, love, accessible education? What does the church do with our money? God’s money? Other than clothing the Pastors and buying them more jets than billionaires all over the world of course.

Please no more preaching and praying until I see you show actual real original (Nollywood) love.

I believe it was St Ignatius who said “Preach the Gospel. If necessary, use words.”

Whatever happened to adding value to the community? No, the church only takes and takes and never gives back.
Don’t get me wrong, many churches are getting it right. Like the one I go to.

(No names called)

(The Waterbrook Church).

But for every 100, only 5 churches try to do the right thing.

So, the Lagos State Government should ban further formation of new churches. No one should be allowed to sell property or rent to any new church. Let the numerous ones already on ground learn to get the work of God done. Abeg, we need the space the extra useless churches are occupying to pray for wealth and  miraculous job opportunities to actually build offices and business spaces to help curb the unemployment rate that isn’t getting lower.
Lagos is not the only God-fearing city in the world. Of which, even that God-fearing status it claims, is highly disputable

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A RAT!!!

Dear Diary,
 
    On Sunday I trapped a tiny rat that had been bugging my life for days in a bucket by leaving food in the bucket. The rat jumped in and ate the food but couldn’t jump out.
      I left the rat to die, but Monday evening, I’m back from work but the rat isn’t dead. Still trying to jump out. So what do I do?

I flush the rat down the toilet.

Something told me I shouldn’t have done that. I should have killed that rat with dignity, not so dishonourably. What if it went down the drain and emerged as a mutant man-eating rodent aiming for revenge?

Oh my.

Today.
Tuesday. 4:15am. I’m up, I iron for work and then decide to take a leak.

I’m minding my own business peeing. Next thing, Mr Drowned in the toilet Rat speeds out from that hole in the ground where water is supposed to disappear into when you take a bath.

I freak out. 

pee on myself a bit.

The rat is gone.
Waited for me to show up and then decided to show itself.

It is alive and plotting its revenge.

MEANWHILE

What in God’s name does Kcee think he’s doing in this?

Comments kept rolling in when I put this up as my BlackBerry Messenger display picture.
“He’s a bloody fag!!”
“Who be dis confused goat?”
“No be Kcee be dis? With all him money he no fit hire stylist”

First, what kind of people do I have as contacts? Dear Lord.

Secondly. This isn’t confused or gay. It is intentional. Its intention is deeply rooted in the fact that this here man, is VERY IGBO. The opposite of Emmy Collins extreme kind of Igbo. The type that has so much money but no taste (whereas Emmy has no money…and very weird (pink) taste). So in his mind, he is very fashionable right now in this pink getup. So he is very stylish…NOT.

Please someone get him a stylist.

Why Do Pastors Pray Over New Cars?

Dear Diary,

     On the Nigerian tradition of getting Pastoral blessing on brand new purchased cars, I write.

Why?
Why do we do that? Why do we call our Pastors to bless our cars whenever we buy them? I find it fundamentally wrong and misguided.

No matter how expensive a car is, it still remains a material possession. Do we call our Pastors to bless all other materials purchases we make such as socks, paintings, jewellery, clothes, cooking utensils and TVs? Why is the car any different?

Is it because of the social status we place on automobiles and the people who purchase them?
Someone tell me why we
1. Call the Pastor to bless our new cars.
2. Don’t call the Pastor to bless every other thing we purchase. If we really valued his blessing, we might as well go the entire way, get the man of God to bless every recharge card voucher before we load it in our phones.

I like you. Say yes or No.

If I’m gonna confess how I feel about you to you, be mature and accept or decline. Do not make stupid jokes about it. =|

Imagine telling someone you like them and all they have to say is “It’s just a crush, not a matter for litigation. It will pass. *wine emoticon*

Don’t you just wanna smash their heads in?

I do.

But she’s a girl.

Feminists and the rest of society would have my head.